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The Heart of
Nonviolent Communication

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s Key Differentiations underpin the spirit of Nonviolent Communication and support a way of being in the world that extends beyond words. The key differentiations present two ways of relating to ourselves, others, and life.

Generally, one is unconscious, based on conditioning—how we have been trained to think, feel, and behave in socially acceptable ways. This programming is determined by our personal history, education, family culture, and social location (factors such as gender, race, social class, age, physical ability, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, and geographic location). The other approach intentionally cultivates needs-based awareness.

We believe Rosenberg offered us the key differentiations in the spirit of an inclusive consciousness, beyond the social construct of right and wrong, beyond mutually exclusive either/or alternatives.

By offering us stimulating contrasts to engage with, Rosenberg left us with concrete tools to cultivate more conscious ways of living. Engaging with these contrasts, we can discern what contributes to life, make conscious choices and bring to life the transformative power of Nonviolent Communication.

Table of Content here.

Free Chapters:

Observation and Observation Mixed With Evaluation here

Life-Connected and Life-Disconnected Mindset here

Pre-order the book here.

"Brilliant!  This book is a major contribution to the literature on consciousness and social change, and a step forward in the evolution of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). It is a penetrating look into the black box of our conditioned minds based on insights by Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of NVC.

The authors describe 25 subtle shifts in awareness that generate a healthy state of consciousness. They also provide stories and practical reflections to help build this awareness into our daily lives.

Especially in this era of increasing polarization, this book is an indispensible roadmap for returning to connection and wholeness."    

- Christopher Germer, PhD

Lecturer on Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

Author, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion

"The authors take us on a deep dive to explore the consciousness of Nonviolent Communication, providing invaluable insights for seasoned practitioners as well as new learners who are curious to understand the power behind what may appear as a simple communication model.

They carefully frame the connection between the spiritual basis of NVC highlighted by Marshall Rosenberg and the impact for social change so central to his vision of NVC in the world. 

I imagine Marshall's joy to read this book and to know that new generations continue to grow and deepen the gifts he has offered us.  Were Marshall here today, I'd grab pencil and paper, make tea, and invite him to join me on the practice exercises in this book for a fun and edifying afternoon!"

- Lucy Leu

Author of  Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook 

Co-author of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Toolkit for Facilitators

"I’m so grateful to Stephanie and Kristin for writing this book. I don’t know of any other resource that explores these fundamental aspects of Nonviolent Communication in such a thorough and accessible manner.


Weaving together stories, lucid exposition, systemic analyses and practical meditations, Stephanie and Kristin offer a nuanced understanding of NVC as it applies to our complex world today.

I’m excited to recommend this book to both students and fellow trainers of Nonviolent Communication alike. We can all learn from the nuanced understanding they bring to Marshall Rosenberg’s radical vision of personal and social transformation through the practical spirituality of Nonviolent Communication." 


- Oren Jay Sofer, Certified NVC Trainer and Author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication

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